This site is dedicated purely to my hatred and contempt for other people, and as you'll shortly notice, it is always right, and it is always hilarious. Just like paedophilia. There's a good chance you fit into one of the groups of people I hate, but don't worry, I'm unprejudiced in my prejudice: I don't hate you more than I hate anyone else. Unless you're Al Gore, Michael Moore or Morgan Spurlock, in which case I do.

How to not stab anyone even when under 18

Posted: January 4th, 2012
When I was 17 I was an absolute twat. I mean fuck, even when I was in my early twenties I was pretty unbearable. If I just flick back through ...
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Dear Bank

Posted: November 16th, 2011
Dear Bank A few things. Firstly, I’m sorry about the decline in use of the tape cassette. I’m sure it’s quite a bother to you what with your fondness of archaic ...
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I hate Barclays

Posted: December 3rd, 2009
I genuinely had this conversation earlier today... Barclays : Hi, I'm just calling to confirm that you’ve received the letter advising you your free banking is coming to an end? Matt : ...
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www.fuckthatfilm.com

Posted: May 27th, 2009
I can't really be bothered with updating howtofun anymore, I haven't got time to do research about topics I feel like bitching about, and I realised a while ago the ...
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Godzilla with a Shit Camera

Posted: February 4th, 2008
If a film is hyped up loads before I go to see it, it’s invariably a rubbish pile of bad cinema experience. As it happens, I’ve been busy as an ...
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Phasebook

Posted: November 16th, 2007
I wrote a whole article here a couple of days ago, but on reading it I decided it wasn't very funny, and that it just laboured an obvious point. The ...
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Westwood is a Cunt

Have you ever wanted to be Tim Westwood, I know I have. Well now, thanks to me, you can be. Using a few simple buttons I can allow you to perfectly replicate his AWESOME show. Stand back y'all, cos this one's a crusha!!! Holla...
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