Harsh Reality TV

So a couple of days ago, I had a brilliant idea. Disabled people, they’re fucking hilarious aren’t they, what with how disabled they are and everything. Imagine all the stupid retarded things they’d do if you set them some difficult challenges. It could make you a lot of money if you made a TV program making fun of how shit they are at certain things?

So I sat down, and I started planning. You’d start by rounding up loads of people with severe mental disabilities. Then one at a time, you’d lead them into a room that had a group of ‘real’ people in it who could make fun of them for being disabled. I think the format would involve making each of the disabled people perform some moderately complex tasks, like solving a difficult sum for example. Imagine some of the hilarious answers they’d come up with, it would be so funny. The panel could spend ages making fun of them and laugh in their faces, and it would be so entertaining for everyone else. It wouldn’t just have to be sums, they could be told to draw pictures, because they’d definitely be really shit, and then the panel of able bodied real people could really tear into them for being so fucking retarded. I think it would be hilarious, genuinely the best TV program in the world.

I’m sure the ratings would be huge, I mean who doesn’t want to watch disadvantaged people get bullied for no reason? Even better, you could make the retards believe that they had a chance of winning loads of money and becoming famous, that way it would be more likely that they’d get really upset when the panel made fun of them. That would definitely make the program better.

I was all set to send this idea into ITV, then I sat down and started watching TV this Sunday, and this program called X Factor came on, and I realised some cunt had beaten me to it.

There is nothing OK about this program. The only element of the show that makes it successful are the shit auditions, they’re the only reason anyone watches it, and they’re grotesque. These people who clearly have mental difficulties are wheeled out in front of a panel of people who absolutely destroy any confidence they have in themselves, and everyone laughs along because it’s funny to see weak people made fun of.

I’m not disputing that these people are fucking idiots for thinking they have talent, but most of them are clearly mentally deficient, and this show is simply televised bullying, nothing more. The defence from the X Factor crew is that these people choose to go on the show, and therefore they have somehow waived their right to compassion or respect. That point is utterly devoid of merit on the grounds that these people clearly don’t have the mental capacity to appreciate what they are agreeing to.

Anyone who has watched that show can’t honestly tell me that they haven’t seen at least 2 people a week audition who clearly had a mental disability. How can you say that they are responsible for the consequences when it’s clear that they lack the capacity to understand what those consequences would be. If someone who sounds like a munchkin being raped when they sing truly believes they sound like Mariah Carey, I don’t think it’s hard to appreciate that they may not be mentally competent.

I have no time for stupid or ugly people. They are not welcome in my life and all my friends are attractive and intelligent. However, this doesn’t mean that I think it’s OK to treat those people like shit and deliberately make them feel like talentless losers. None of these people seem like they’re bad people, it’s not like they’ve spent the previous 3 years murdering children and burying them in their garden. The only offence they are guilty of is believing that they can sing when they can’t, and as punishment for this heinous crime they are mocked horribly on national television, often until they cry.

If this program was Simon Cowell kicking a midget or a boy with downs syndrome, the whole country would be up in arms. But what they show is in no way different from that. These people are bullied for the amusement of everyone else, and if you’ve ever laughed at it, you’ve basically laughed at a man making fun of a cripple. Feels good doesn’t it?