A Service that Should Exist

I’ve had some good ideas in my time, the Howtofun Cutlery Glove, the Street Light Windfarm, the 3 Step Crime Plan, all of these were works of genius. But this latest one, this latest one is better than all of them.

A basic rule of marketing is to get a message to people when they are likely to me most receptive to it. For example, a Taxi company is South Africa once put adverts at the bottom of pint glasses that read “When you’ve seen this 3 times – Call this number”

Perfect, they’re drinking, they’ve drunk too much, they can’t drive, and they need a cab. And brilliantly, the advert is stuck right in their face at the bottom of their drink. You have to admire that, it’s extremely clever, and their sales quadrupled after the introduction of that advert.

So with this in mind, I have come up with a new service. I will call this service….

Whore Cabs

Picture this, you’re drunk, you’ve left the club after another night of abject failure with women, you need to get home, so you need to get a cab. You’re horny, and you need a cab home. You’re going to call a cab anyway, but what if you had the opportunity to call a Whore Cab. She can come and pick you up, take you home, come in with you, relieve you in whatever sick way you deem fit, then drive off again. It’s perfect, you were getting a cab anyway, and you wanted to get laid, so why not incorporate it all in to one simple effective service.

Whore Cabs are the way forward. Although probably not in Ipswich.