50 Cent - Shoot him Again

Gangsta rappers are all dicks, this we know. Ever since Big Doggy Big Big strapped a clock to his face in the 90’s, middle class white boys have been lapping up their drivel by the millions, causing us all to weep for the future.

They’ve all been shit, none of them with anything to say other than random mumblings about the size of their cock or the bagginess of their Khakis. Utterly devoid of talent, they have made themselves rich by simply bragging about how great they are, when they’re not.

But for me, there has never been a worse one that 50 Cent. 50 Cent is the most ridiculous human being I have ever heard of. It’s not just because he can’t speak, or that he’s circus ugly, it’s more than that.

This is a man who brags about being shot 9 times. He brags about it. How much of a dick must you be to have pissed off enough people to get yourself shot 9 times. Nobody has ever shot me, and if they had, I’d worry that maybe I was an arsehole that deserved shooting. If you’ve been shot 9 times, there’s no need to worry, you definitely are.

“Look at me, I’ve been shot 9 times, I’m such a fucking Gangsta to have been shot this many times”

OK, here’s a list of things that can, and frequently do, get shot.

Foxes
Pigeons
Clay Pigeons
Deer
Firing range targets
Livestock

Getting shot doesn’t make you scary. If you’d shot 9 people, I might be more concerned, but if you’re just so much of a cock that you basically get your arse taken down by everyone who hates you, that just makes you rubbish. Does this apply to other things, if I’ve been beaten up 100 times, am I really hard? If I lose every race I ever run in, am I sprinter? 50 Cent is a dick, and his face suggests to me he may have Down’s syndrome.

I don’t hate him as much as Michael Moore, who definitely does deserve to be shot 9 times, but I do hate him.