Five Years of Stupidity

So it’s been 5 years. 5 long boring years, and people are still fucking going on about it, still making stuff up about it, and still being fucking stupid about it.

There is nothing in this world that angers me on the level of a 9/11 conspiracy.

There are so many of these theories now it’s embarrassing. The buildings fell down too fast, jet fuel doesn’t burn hot enough to melt steel, the military didn’t turn up, cell phones don’t work on planes, Indian Lake had debris in it despite being miles away from where flight 93 crashed. It’s relentless, it’s boring, and it’s all fucking stupid. These people argue that they are entitled to their own opinions and think they are somehow enlightened for believing these stupid stories.

Now I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. This does not however mean they are entitled to their own facts. The facts have to be the same for everyone, and I find it’s a good idea to base your opinions on those facts. But maybe that’s just me.

Making the decision on where to begin destroying these myths is almost impossible, it’s like an all you can eat buffet of idiocy. But anyway, let’s begin

The Military Were Ordered to Stand Down

Conspiracy theorists believe that the American Government told the military not to respond to the attacks, and the reason they think this is that no jets attempted to intercept the hijacked passenger planes. They compare this to an event in 1999 when the golfer Payne Stewarts Learjet went off course and was intercepted by NORAD.

In this instance, air traffic controllers lost contact with the jet at 9:33am, and NORAD intercepted it at 9:52am, so the conspiracy theorists say that they had responded to a plane going off course within 19 minutes. If this was how long it took to respond then, why didn’t that happen on September 11?

Well, there are a couple of reasons. The first is pretty simple. Stewarts jet still had the transponder on, so it was easy to find. The transponders were switched off on the hijacked jets. Fairly basic stuff, if the jet is harder to find, it’s going to take longer, no arguments there right? But that’s not the funny bit. This is the funny bit.

Payne Stewarts jet lost contact at 9:33 eastern daylight time. It was intercepted at 9:52 central daylight time. It didn’t take 19 minutes, it took 1 hour and 19 minutes, and that was with the transponder on.

See what I did there was actually check the facts behind something and come to a conclusion based on them. Clever wasn’t it? Shall we do it again?

The Empire State Building Got Hit by a Plane and Didn’t Fall Down

Apparently because the Empire State Building didn’t fall down when it got hit by a B-25 Bomber, this proves that the towers must have collapsed because they were professionally demolished. The Empire State Building did get hit by a plane, and it didn’t fall down, that’s true. But to then say that this means the towers wouldn’t have fallen down is an illogical conclusion. If that’s the case, does that mean that if somebody gets hit by a car and doesn’t die, that nobody could ever possibly be killed by being hit by a car?

A plane slamming into a building can happen in a lot of different ways. There are so many variables: angle, speed, weight, size, so many things that are different each time, it’s stupid to compare the one event to the other. But seeing as people have done exactly that, it’s probably an idea to do it properly, something they’ve always failed to do. So consider this.

The B-25 hit the Empire State Building at 200mph. The planes that hit the North and South towers were travelling at 440 & 540mph respectively.

The B-25 was less than one tenth the weight of the 767 jets that hit the towers, and carried one tenth as much fuel.

The B-25 hit the Empire State Building completely flat, and therefore the impact only damaged the 79th floor. The planes that hit the towers came in at an angle, and damaged floors 93 – 99, and the 77 – 85 on the North and South towers respectively. A 3 year study on the collapse has categorically proven that the impact of the jets sliced through the utility shafts in the cores of both towers, allowing the burning fuel to flow down through the building, spreading the fire devastatingly quickly. This, coupled with the severe structural damage caused by the impact, was the cause of the collapse. Also, and this is pretty important, the Empire State Building is essentially a solid block of concrete, where as the twin towers were basically an extremely elaborate game of Jenga.

Can you see the difference between the two events, or am I just really observant?

Jet Fuel Doesn’t Burn Hot Enough to Melt Steel

This was obviously thought up by someone who’s never eaten an ice cream. If they had, they’d realise that although something will melt at a certain temperature, it will have to go through a process to get there. If your ice cream melts, it’s not ice-cream one second, slush the next is it? It goes through a melting process to get there.

So although steel does indeed melt at a higher temperature than jet fuel burns, that’s completely fucking irrelevant. Jet fuel burns at between 1100 and 1200 degrees Celsius. Steel melts at around 1510 degrees Celsius. But if it melts completely at 1510 degrees, do you think it’s possible that it might at least lose a bit of strength at 1200 degrees? Yes, yes it is. In fact steel begins to lose strength at just 400 degrees, and loses roughly half it’s strength at 500 degrees celsius.

Indian Lake

I only came across this claim when I started researching the event properly, until then I hadn’t enjoyed the sheer brilliance of this retarded festival of stupidity. Basically, loads of crash debris was found in Indian Lake, which is 6 miles away from the flight 93 crash site. Apparently, it would be impossible for this debris to have landed there had the plane not been shot down, because 6 miles is too far for the debris to have travelled. Therefore, the government are lying, and they did indeed shoot flight 93 down.

OK, first things first. Why did they launch an attack on themselves, then shoot it down? Either it was the government, in which case they’d have let it happen, or it wasn’t, in which case they’d have tried to stop it. Either way, this claim doesn’t actually do anything but support the fact that the American Government did not orchestrate the attacks.

But let’s assume that there is a point to making this claim, because even if we do that, it’s still complete shit. This fact was obtained not through research, but by something I like to call “researchengine”. This is the process illiterate morons use to gather information by typing stuff into Google, rather than by reading a book or an official independent report. This distance of 6 miles is obviously a case of researchengine, because they clearly just got the distance from a Route Finder website. You see, if you were to drive to Indian Lake from the site where the plane crashed, you would indeed have to pass over 6 miles of ROAD. However, if you were to measure the distance as the crow, or perhaps slightly more relevantly, THE FUCKING PLANE, flies, you would realise that Indian Lake is in fact 1.5 miles away from the crash site, and is completely within the range you could realistically expect to find debris from a plane crashing into the ground at 500 miles an hour.

There are a load more, but it’s boring dealing with them all to be honest, so I can’t be bothered. However, there is one more thing, one more tiny little thing, that I think often gets overlooked.

There is no fucking way in the world the American Government would even get close to being competent enough to pull off something this difficult. They have a combined IQ of 14, there is simply no way. You may remember that the American Government were responsible for such military masterpieces as Vietnam and the Bay of Pigs, the results of which could reasonably be displayed in the following Catchphrase style animation.

Just say what you see now. And if you’re a member of the American Government, you probably don’t know what you’re seeing, just like the American military don’t know if the thing they’re about to blow up is a friendly or a hostile target. The American Government, by the conspiracy theorists own admission, is run by a redneck simpleton who can’t count to 10, and if they had attempted anything as ridiculously complex as destroying the twin towers with the entire world watching leaving nothing but a few misplaced plumes of smoke as a clue, then as we speak, the New York sky line would look something like this…