Crocodile Hunter - Stingray Prey

Does anyone else find Steve Irwin getting his heart pierced by an angry stingray fucking hilarious?

YES! Everyone does. It was awesome. It’s not as good as Reeve losing his spine, but it’s pretty good none the less. It’s not that I don’t like him, I just like irony. And there’s loads of irony.

First off, there’s the fact that a man who spent his entire life goading the shit out of Crocodiles, Snakes and Spiders got his shit destroyed by a Stingray, which is one of the shittest animals in the world. It’s like the wasp of the Sea. Appreciating the irony? Of course you are.

But my favourite thing is the fact it proves once again that people that think they know the most about animals actually know the least. Take the story of Timothy Treadwell, the complete bag of crazy that spent every summer for 13 years living with bears, only to then get his throat ripped out by one that finally got bored of him.

You might think that the 13 years he spent living with Bears would have allowed him to gain a greater knowledge of them than I had attained simply by seeing one on a documentary once. Apparently not. I have catagoric evidence that I know more about bears then Timothy Treadwell.

I’ve never been killed by a bear.

Seriously, if this guy knew so much about bears, why didn’t he realise that the fact that they weigh about 50 tonnes and could smash his skull without even trying made them an unsuitable pet? I know that and I’ve never even fucking seen one of the things. The dick.

Steve Irwin might have thought he was an animal expert, but he knew less than me, because I knew that fucking around with dangerous animals is likely to get you killed. Granted I didn’t think it would be by getting stabbed by a fish, but I still knew it would happen, and that makes me better than him. And more alive for that matter.