Buy this you ingrates

Even though I don’t charge you to experience how fucking awesome I am (which I should) that doesn’t mean you can’t pay your way anyway.

Eventually, when I can be bothered, they’ll be a paypal donation system setup so you will at least be able to partially repay me for how much better I make your life, but in the mean time, just do this.

Go to this site www.Mydriasis.co.uk and buy stuff, namely their new album - In Order of Appearance. If you’re too fucking stupid to work out how to do that, click on “pre-order now” and it will do it for you.

There are two reasons you should do this. The first is that it’s fucking awesome, and everyone should own it. The second is that you fucking owe me. Seriously, think about how many times I’ve made you happy by being great. Millions, that’s how many, so the least you can do is cough up a few quid on an album that’s fucking great anyway. Ungrateful pricks.

“How does my buying this album benefit you?” I hear you cry. Simple, if they get rich and famous, I wait around in wings knowing them, being cool for knowing them, and tell people at parties “yeah mydriasis, I know them, they’re my friends, doesn’t that make me great, don’t you want to sleep with me, yes, yes you do, and I’d be awesome, but you can’t, now fuck off”.

That’s why, now buy the album or get off my site.