How to be a Moron

So I get this email a few days ago…

From: #########
To: botherme@howtofun.com
Subject: c/o Jimmy
Date: Sat, 22 Jul 2006

Hi, I’m Laureen, I met Jimmy on a bus between Chile & Peru and he showed me your site. I think You Are So Great Because your website makes me laugh like a potatoe when I am bored at the office…
Life is nothing more than that.

OK, here is a video I just received,
did you know it?
If not, enjoy….

Link removed on account of it pointing to that stupid fucking 9/11 conspiracy video

Laureen

“Oh wow” I think to myself, thank god some random bint is around to help educate me about mindless theories that make no sense, there’s no way I could have obtained this information on my own.

She did praise me though, so I gave her the benefit of a response bordering on polite despite her obviously being retarded. I haven’t actually got the response I sent, but it was basically explaining how it doesn’t make any fucking sense that the American Government would have planned this attack themselves (I’ve got an article about this coming).

Lesson learned however, as the respect I showed this clueless minion clearly gave her an over inflated feeling of self-worth, as she then had the audacity to question me, despite it being obvious that I could knock her unconscious with my IQ alone. This is the email I received.

From: #########
To: botherme@howtofun.com
Subject: c/o Jimmy
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2006

This mail was sent by an american friend who received the video I sent you. Not the kind of man who as time to lose having paranoïac thoughts and delirius theories about his own beloved country.. Maybe this time you will, at least, watch the video?

Laureen

Listen peaches, I’m a patient man, you asked me to waste my time with your stupid X Files conspiracy shit once, and I took it with a smile and had the decency not to club you like a seal, but asking me to do it twice is too fucking much. My response was as follows…

From: botherme@howtofun.com
To: #######
Subject: c/o Jimmy
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2006

And maybe one day you’ll have a reading age of 7. Moron



Seriously I’ve got to talk to Jimmy about the freaks he speaks to (incidentally Jimmy, if you’re reading this, and you happen to like this silly bitch, sorry*) because this has to be the dumbest conspiracy theory in the history of time. Seeing as we’re all wasting our time passing off our random thoughts as conspiracy theories, I think colonel sanders blew up the twin towers in order to make more room for KFC. Or the building companies did it so they could build a new building there. Or…you’re a cunt.

* Of course I’m not sorry