Finding Yourself

The thing I’ve noticed about people that “find themselves” is that they amazingly all find they’re identical. Whenever anyone says they’ve found themselves, what they actually mean is “I’ve decided to be a neo-hippy idiot who doesn’t wash or seek gainful employment”. Nobody ever seems to find themselves in any other way, nobody goes off to Thailand and comes back 6 months later saying “I found myself, turns out I’m a narcissistic racist”.

From what I can work out the term “finding yourself” means that you spent a few months in a hot country lying in the sun getting drunk all day, and after a while came to the realisation that you didn’t like the idea of working your entire life and actually lying in the sun getting smashed is a better plan.

Congratulations, you’ve worked out something obvious.

We all want to lie in the sun all day getting smashed you cretin, that’s not finding yourself, that’s stating the obvious. I think what happens in these situations is that some people are so genuinely stupid that they’ve never questioned the life situation they’re in and considered if they want it or not. I love the idea of lying in the sun all day getting wrecked, but it comes at a price, no nice house, no nice car, no family, no challenges for my mind. Ultimately I’ve weighed it up and decided I’d sooner have a job, earn decent money, sort myself out financially, then retire as early as possible and spend the remainder of my life lying out in the sun getting smashed. Only when I do it, I’ll be doing it on a Yacht, and I’ll entertain myself by throwing rotten fruit at any idiotic self finding neo-hippy that crosses my path.