The Best Interview Question

So imagine you’re about to interview someone for a position within your company. What questions are you going to ask? Why do you want to work here? What will you bring to our company? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

You could ask these things, but you would be better served asking the following question “What is your favourite cereal?”. That question, above all others, will give you a clear insight into the mind of this candidate. Use the following as a guideline.

Branflakes

Your branflake eater is a stable and reliable individual. You’re not going to get messed around by a man who eats Branflakes. A branflake eater is making a statement, he’s saying he’s not distracted by shiny or indeed sweet side issues, he cares only for fulfilling the objective, and is not interested in personal glory or gratification. However, his imagination is limited, and he may be flustered when things become more unstable and varied. A man who chooses Branflakes is not a man to have around in a crises, nor is he someone who can turn a difficult situation around. Reliable yes, inventive no.

Cornflakes

Cornflake eaters are very similar to Branflake eaters, only perhaps slightly less ridged. The choice of the Corn over the Bran flake indicates a willingness to be flexible. Sugar is certainly more feasible on your standard cornflake, and this shows his mind is not completely closed. The same limitations are never the less still apparent, he will not be revolutionising your business, and in truth is probably slightly less focused than your standard Branflake consumer.

Sugar Puffs

If the answer to the cereal question is sugar puffs, or indeed any puffed cereal, the interview should be immediately terminated. Requiring your cereal to be puffed indicates a belief that everything should be done for you. A man who eats puffed cereal wants the difficulty of chewing reduced as much as possible. For the man who eats puffs, it’s the easy route every time, and frankly the immaturity displayed in choosing the Sugar Puff is a quality that every employer should try to avoid.

Frosties

A man who chooses Frosties is clearly a man reluctant to grow up. He’s a man who can’t take things at face value, insisting the Corn be augmented with sugar. He has all the negative qualities of a Cornflake eater and none of the positive. Perhaps one saving grace of the Frosty eater is that he has a natural childlike quality, which manages to not come across as blatant immaturity as with Puff eaters (above). People can find this quality appealing, and although they will not have a natural respect for him, they will most likely be happy to work slightly beneath him, as his man management skills are certainly commendable.

Shredded Wheat

Your Shredded Wheat man is sturdy and solid. Ideal middle management material. Yes, he lacks initiative, but he’s not afraid to take on difficult tasks and he’ll work until he drops. People, whilst not being necessarily inspired by him, will follow Shredded Wheat man, and he’ll certainly keep that customer services team working hard. Perhaps, if you do choose to employ this man, it would be wise to go the route of a Frosties eater in the “Team Leader” role, slightly beneath Shredded Wheat man, as the more approachable face of your management.

Clusters

The man that chooses clusters is nothing if not an enigma. Clusters offer you no stability, one bowl is full of nuts, the other nothing but flakes. A man who eats clusters blows hot and cold, one day inspired, the next lacklustre and demotivated. To enjoy clusters, you have to be the kind of man that embraces life as it comes, the highs: the lows, the tears: the smiles, the hopes: the fears, the good times: the bad. A Clusters man could be a disruptive influence on your controlled office environment, but he could also be the spark that ignites your business. You should approach with caution, but also be aware that many a success story has a bowl of clusters in it’s breakfast.

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes

A great middle of the road man. The choice of Honey over sugar demonstrates maturity whilst still having the desire for the more enjoyable side of life. He’s a great mix of the positives of your Frosties and Cornflake eaters, whilst not suffering from many of the weaknesses. True, he has gone a rather unoriginal route, and you will probably not be amazed by his invention, but this is a man who can achieve.

Crunchy Nut Clusters Milk Chocolate Curls

Go this way, and you are treading a dangerous path. This cereal shows a man to be greedy. Not content with the already generous combination of Corn, Honey and Nuts, this is a man who then adds Chocolate to the mix. Chocolate has no place at the breakfast table, and this man knows it, but his greed and arrogance make him think he can do it anyway. This displays a dangerous quality. He’s a go getter, of that there is no doubt. But he’s too bold, rash even, and can often make mistakes through poor planning. He’s a man who wants it all right away, and he doesn’t mind cutting corners to get it. He’s demanding, he’ll constantly expect more from the company, he’ll want a better car, and a higher salary increase than the other employees each year. He’s likely to become frustrated and churlish if these demands are not met, and ultimately, his “have it all” way of thinking will prohibit him from being a successful part of your company. He’ll certainly shake things up, he may even be a good choice to invigorate a team with extremely low morale, but as a long term solution, it’s better to go with a Shredded Wheat man.

Cheerio’s

Cheerio’s are an excellent breakfast of choice. They’re healthy, but not boring. They’re varied, but not unpredictable. A man who chooses Cheerio’s is a man who’s happy with his life, but who’s not afraid of change either. He’s aware of his health, but not obsessed, and he’s going to approach his working life with a positive attitude. He’s certainly a “work to live” kind of guy, you wont find him in the office at all hours, but when he is there, he’s going to work hard. But a general indecisiveness plagues him, what is it Cheerio man really wants? Is it maize? Is it oats? Is it barley, wheat or rice? By essentially opting for every Cereal group mixed into one, Cheerio man is hedging his bets*. Cheerio men should be the backbone of your company, but leave the important decisions to other people, perhaps the Clusters or solely rice based cereal consumers.

*A regional difference does apply here. It’s my understanding that Cheerio’s in America are not varied in such a way, and therefore your American Cheerio eater is not necessarily cursed with this same indecisiveness.

Rice Crispies

The prospective employee who chooses a rice based cereal is an odd creature. Rice is not what you’d naturally imagine as a breakfast product, and as such the people who choose this can often think very differently from the people who choose a cereal from a more traditional food group. They are a little detached from the rest of the work force, but can often come up with ideas that nobody else would have. His lateral thinking is impressive, and he is an excellent choice as your “answer man”. You wont see him out on work socials often, but he’s a stable guy with a good work ethic, and with great problems solving skills.

Weetabix

Get it done! The mantra of the weetabix man. Not for him taking time over eating his breakfast, he’s got no time for it, he wants everything he needs, and he doesn’t want to have to wait long. Five mouthfuls is enough to destroy a Weetabix, then it’s off to work. Weetabix man is the driving force behind a company, he’s a natural leader and certainly of the “Live to Work” breed. However he ultimately isn’t happy with his life, work is taking it’s toll and sometimes he thinks maybe he should be taking a moment to stop and enjoy the things around him. Perhaps he’ll experiment with raisin-bix, but ultimately the change feels unnatural to him, and he goes back to the comfort that Weetabix provides him. He’s a good option, but be wary of his morale, many office shootings have been committed by men who choose Weetabix.

Wheetos

A difficult one to judge, the Wheeto man. Again, we see evidence of Chocolate at the breakfast table, indicating a rebellious streak that is far from desirable. But it’s subtle, almost sneaky, like the Wheetos man wants Chocolate but is trying to get away with it. He has a deceiving nature, and will almost certainly be calling in sick all too frequently, and ultimately you’ll become tired of his inventive excuses. It’s best to avoid the Wheeto eater, as they are simply too deceptive.

Alpen

Muesli. A great assortment of messages, crammed into one breakfast. Muesli man is, unfortunately, best avoided altogether. Whilst it would be harsh to question his commitment, he just lacks direction and conviction. Each mouthful must be a different fruit, each taste a different experience. Too quickly would Muesli man become bored at work, distracted when the days have seemed too similar. His intentions will always be good, health and well being among his main breakfast concerns, but at what price? He needs the constant stimulation of change, and will lack the necessary focus to see projects through to the end. Each time progress is being made, the lure of a new exciting fruit will suck him in, and another endeavour will go unfulfilled.