Steven Spielberg - The Most Jew

YOU’RE JEWISH, WE GET IT. Jesus, another Steven Spielberg film based solely on the fact he’s Jewish. He’s not just Jewish, he’s the most Jewish, and he wants everyone to know about it.

There should be some kind of Hollywood rule put in place that prevents Spielberg from going near anything remotely related to religion ever again. I hate him immensely, not because he’s Jewish, but because he thinks everyone hates him for being Jewish.

I remember seeing him on some shit show right before he bought out Amistad, I have a horrible feeling it was Oprah, and although I can’t remember exactly the way the conversation went, I think it was something like this:

Oprah : Steven, we’re used to you bleating on like a cunt about the war, so what was behind the decision to make a film about the struggles of a different group of people?

Spielberg : Well you see Oprah, I’m so fucking Jewish that I’m really the only person who could have made this film, because black people get persecuted, just like me. Sorry what was that Oprah?…..When?. .Er…well I can’t think of a specific time I personally was persecuted no, but….but I’m Jewish see, so I have an innate understanding of what it is like to be persecuted because of the war…you know the war I wasn’t involved in, that war.

Oprah : I see. Do you not worry that people will think you’re a sanctimonious dick for acting like the world has been kicking you in the tits your entire life, despite you being one of the richest and most privileged men in America?

Spielberg : You know what Oprah, I don’t. Fuck ‘em

Do you see where my contempt comes from now? It’s not the films, the films are fine. I liked Schindlers list “Two more people” and all that shit, very emotional, so it’s not the films. It’s the fact he seems to be under the impression that because Jewish people have been persecuted for centuries, he has been as well. Surely if this is the case I should be in the same boat, as the Christians I am descended from were persecuted by the Romans.

“Oh I understand exactly what you mean Steven, I mean when Nero had me burned alive and crucified and fed to wild animals in 64 a.d. for allegedly burning down a large section of Rome, I think I probably felt a little bit like you do now”

What a cunt.