Watches are Shit

I know a few people who have expensive watches. Annoyingly I like a couple of those people, but as a general rule anyone who has an expensive watch is a cock.

Now when I say expensive I don’t mean £100, I think that’s alright for a watch, it’s a bit of jewellery and all that and if you’re over 11 you can’t really wear a Casio. I don’t really likes watches myself but I get that some people do, so spending £100 is reasonable. When I say expensive, I’m talking over £150, that kind of area. The reason for this is pretty simple, once you’ve spent £150 on a watch, I don’t believe spending any more money can possibly make a difference. My watch doesn’t need to be encrusted with diamonds and at the end of the day all it does is tell the time.

I don’t believe a £1500 watch is any more accurate than a £150 one. I mean seriously, if you spent £150 quid on a watch you’d expect it to keep time wouldn’t you. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the two from looking at them anyway. Tell me which of these two watches is worth the most (don’t actually tell me). I found these on some stupid website, one of them is $99, and the other is $3,719.

Recently I was talking to this guy who showed me his really expensive watch. He was so fucking proud of this thing, he told me it cost 5 grand and he acted like I should want to blow him. The thing he most enjoyed was the fact the watch had two extra faces within the main face, so it told the time not only in England, but also in New York and Tokyo.

Now whilst that is obviously amazing, my watch does pretty much the same thing. In fact my watch tells me the time in every country in the world. Observe…..

Anybody who needs multiple watch faces to work out the time in a different city should be detonated. You have to add or subtract, and if you haven’t grasped those basic skills I’m guessing you’re hardly over run with international commitments.