Super size me, I’m Stupid

Every now and then somebody comes up with an idea so stupid I am genuinely impressed with it. Morgan Spurlock is responsible for one such idea, the barren entertainment wasteland that was the film Super Size Me was it.

A brief synopsis of the film is one complete fucking idiot, fuelled by a detest for the fast food industry, decides to eat nothing but McDonalds food for 30 days in a bid to prove it’s bad for you. If they ask him to go large, or super size, he will always say yes.

And that’s it. Apparently in today’s world, this constitutes a good idea for a film. There is nothing good about this idea, nothing.

According to some people, this film offered an interesting and educational insight in to the fast food world and their evil ploys to lure kids into their restaurants. There are only two excuses for having this opinion…

1) You’re 6
2) You have coal for brains

I could have offered the exact same lesson without you having to watch an idiot eating for two hours. Here you go…

1) Burgers are bad for you
2) Companies always try to promote their product

There you go, I just saved you wasting your time on this film. I don’t understand what it was he was trying to prove. If there is anybody in the world who didn’t already know that eating nothing but McDonalds every day for a month would be extremely unhealthy, they should be shot through the neck with a crossbow. Equally, if it didn’t occur to you that McDonalds would try and attract new customers through the use of marketing, just like every other corporation on the planet, you’re plainly no brighter than my keyboard.

The stupid thing about this was the excess. Even McDonalds would tell you not to eat it everyday, it’s not supposed to be healthy. McDonalds is not designed as a healthy meal, it’s junk food you fucking idiot YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT IT EVERY DAY. Were McDonalds supposed to have signs up saying “Warning, we recommend you do not eat solely from this restaurant”? If he did this with any other food the results would have been the same. If you eat anything solidly for one month with no variation, you will get ill. If he ate nothing but banana’s every day he’d get ill too. The point of this was to make himself famous through doing something extreme. It was just an extended episode of Jackass. If he wanted to genuinely find out how bad McDonalds was for us, he should have carried on eating the way he normally did, but go to McDonalds once a day as well. If he got ill doing that, then his message would have some kind of validity as I’m sure there are people that do go there every day. But he didn’t, because he wasn’t interested in finding out anything useful, he was interested in getting famous. He should be burned at the stake for wasting all our time.

I genuinely believe this may be the worst thing ever committed to film. Ever. He has delivered a message telling us not to do something that we all knew was a shit idea already. What’s he going to prove next, that staying underwater too long results in drowning? Or maybe he should mince himself to show how putting a human being through a meat mincer is a bad idea.

Apparently the real purpose of the film was to illustrate how companies like McDonalds are using deceptive and cunning advertising to lure children in and make them fat. Now I don’t particularly like McDonalds, but I’ve got no real issue with them, because the bottom line is they don’t make you buy it. If kids are getting fat from eating McDonalds, it’s their parents fault. Kids don’t have jobs, so if kids are eating junk food, someone else is buying it for them. McDonalds, like every other company, are going to try and attract you to their product. Telling us this in a two hour documentary is again an obvious pointless message that nobody needed to be given.

Companies can only exist if there is a demand for them. McDonalds exists because a huge amount of people want their food. Yes it’s unhealthy and people are stupid for wanting it, but the fact is they do, and how are McDonalds to blame for that? Does anybody seriously expect them to suddenly say “You know what, this is bad for people, let’s close down all our stores, I’m sick of making money anyway”. It’s just not realistic. It’s a parents responsibility to stop their kids getting fat, you can’t blame a corporation for it.

Fuck Morgan Spurlock. He’s got a shit name anyway.