Dull? Try Self Harm
September 24th, 2005
Are you worried people wont think there is any depth to your personality because you’re happy every now and then? Do you find wearing black and putting on dark makeup doesn’t quite illustrate the torment of your soul? Are you worried that because your parents are wealthy and you have everything you could possibly need, people will think you don’t have any reason to be a miserable bitch. If that’s the case maybe you should try self-harm. It’s a simple way to make sure everyone around you appreciates just how unique you are. In fact you’ll be joining a large group of people who are just as unique as you, as you’ll be one of countless people who’ve decided to take up this exciting fashion.
OK the scars will be with you forever, clearly warning anyone who you ever get close to in the future that you have a history of mental problems, but what a small price to pay for the knowledge that everyone will know that you’re tormented, and therefore interesting.
Really when you examine the options, what choice do you have but to cut yourself? In fact, why not get really creative and try to write a word in your flesh with a razor blade, this will show everyone just how tormented you are. Some of our recommended words are…..
Suffer
Torment
Pain
Anguish
Hell
Numb
Cold
Death
Rage
All of these words should illustrate to everyone that you are different, interesting, and you don’t wish to follow the fashionable crowd, because you are unique, just like the other countless million people who self-harm in exactly the same boring way you do.
I’m aiming this at women because it seems to be a female thing, if there are any ‘men’ reading this that self-harm, this still applies to you, because you have a LADIES PROBLEM!
Honestly, this has to be the dullest psychological problem there is. You’re cutting yourself, really, how FUCKING BORING! If you want attention why not just jump up and down screaming “Hey everybody look at me, feel sorry for me, I’m a boring waste of a human being and I want you all to look at me” It will achieve exactly the same thing, but you wont have disfiguring scars. Best of both worlds. Genius.
In case you decide self-harm is still the way though, here are some of my suggestions for alternate words you could try carving into yourself…..
Boring
Dull
Unoriginal
Ouch
Stupid
Idiot
Pointless
Look at me
Pathetic
Any of those would be good, or just kill yourself, nobody likes you anyway.
